Resisting Stigma and Homophobia: Gauri Sawant's Deposition, Pune Panchayat
Director: Jeevanandhan Rajendran
Duration: 00:09:54; Aspect Ratio: 1.333:1; Hue: 19.535; Saturation: 0.196; Lightness: 0.678; Volume: 0.163; Cuts per Minute: 0.908; Words per Minute: 127.262
Summary: Action Plus, a network of 14 organisations working on HIV/AIDS in India, conducted a series of People’s Panchayats in 2009, which sought to understand people's battles against Stigma and Homophobia through the voices of survivors and resistors. The Panchayats sought to address the devaluation of livelihoods and life systems of entire communities of people who practice alternate sexualities, and the erosion of rights or dignity.
This series of People’s Panchayats was held in five cities in India. The first one was in Bangalore on January 28, 2009, the second in Hyderabad on February 6, 2009, the third in Chennai on March 21, 2009 and the fourth on April 11, 2009 in Pune. The fifth and final one was held in New Delhi on April 24, 2009.
Each of the Panchayats followed a similar structure. The interactive meetings were structured to have affected members from sexual minority communities share their personal experiences of living with stigma and homophobia. These were the deposers. Then the two-member expert panel shared their thoughts and ideas based on their experience in the field. The audience comprising of the general public, NGOs, media, opinion leaders and religious communities made their queries and comments at the end of the deposition. There was a brief audience interaction following which the jury or the panch gave its ‘verdict’.
Gauri Sawant talks about her experiences growing up transgender, and of the harassment and abuse she faced from her family as a result. She speaks in detail about her father's attempts to 'convert' her, and of her difficulties in escaping such ordeals. Gauri's story is ultimately empowering as she shares her success in living life on her own terms.
Keep the ironed clothes in the fridge. It sounds odd right? That is what I felt when I was small. Female is trapped in a male body. I used to be alone at home when I was 9-10. I used to take out al the saris from my mother's cupboard and play with it. They found it out one day. But they did not react much. They kept it a secret. They never said anything to me. They thought I will grow up eventually. I used to ply with my girl friends – kitchen kitchen etc. Nobody harassed me when I was young. My mother passed away, I started staying with my grandmother. She was even more loving. She gave me a free hand since my mother had passed away. So my childhood passed very happily. I lived the way I wanted to. Then we got a phone call saying your son has sex with other boys on the terrace. My father was on a high post in the police department. He had panicked because of these calls from someone in the building. My father asked me if do anything with other boys on the terrace. I said no, it was the easy way out for me. Then he started finding love letter in my bag, I used to like men only. My real name was Ganesh Sawant, but all my girl friends used to call me Gauri. My father saw all the love letters and e beat me up like a dog. I could not get up for next two days. My father being from the police department, he used to take me to the salon twice a month. I had a crew cut, my father never let me grow my hair. One day my father found out that although I leave the house wearing a shirt, I change it at the Dadar station in the toilet and wear ladies Kurta. My father took me to Kaya Kalp – 'Sukhi waiwahik jeewan ke liye'. The doctor asked me what the problem was. I did not know what was it, I was just 16-17 years old. I was not clear but I knew that I am not attracted to guys. The boys in our class used to read Kamchandra/ pornographic books but I instead helped the girls plait their hair, put a bindi on their forehead etc.My father took me to Kaya Kalp, and doctor asked me and I told them 'yes, I like boys to have sex with'. My father started sweating and he started crying. The doctor sent my father out and told me that your father commit suicide. So I told him that if he does then he will be free but I can't change myself. The doctor and my father had a private conversation then, I don't know what they discussed. The next day my father took me to another doctor. I was given a heavy dosage of drugs. My feet got swollen, I started bleeding from my genitals and ears. It was a torture. While at the same time, I started going to Humsafar.
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Gauri Sawant talks about her experiences growing up transgender, and of the harassment and abuse she faced from her family as a result. She speaks in detail about her father's attempts to 'convert' her, and of her difficulties in escaping such ordeals. Gauri's story is ultimately empowering as she shares her success in living life on her own terms.
Pune
action plus
beg
bhosla military school' charkop
dadar
doctor
drugs
ganesh sawant
gauri sawant
harass
humsafar
kaya kalp
people's panchayats on resisting stigma and homophobia
pune
rituals
sex
sex education
sex work
srs
transgender
transsexual
Pune, India
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Gauri Sawant talks about her experiences growing up transgender, and of the harassment and abuse she faced from her family as a result. She speaks in detail about her father's attempts to 'convert' her, and of her difficulties in escaping such ordeals. Gauri's story is ultimately empowering as she shares her success in living life on her own terms.
Pune
Two things were happening simultaneously. I was not accepted at home but I was accepted by Humsafar. They were all like me. People with big moustaches used to behave like women. But it was a warm feeling among them since they were all like me. My father used to beat me, they didn't used let me take ay calls. He used to keep me almost locked inside the house. But one day I left home. I couldn't take it anymore. I took up a job of a P.L. But there was a question of a place to stay. I was from a good household. I stayed on the platform or a couple of days. Stayed with some friend when no one was around. I ate wada-paw and fell sick. Finally I went back home. Father said, 'are you satisfied?'. I am going to take you to Bhosla Military School. I went and then ran away. Came back and one of friends said let us go. I joined as a supervisor in Humsafar. I went to Amma's place. She gave me some money and told me you will get a place to stay I Charkop. I had a small stove and only one vessel. I used to cook maggi or buy a samosa for two Rs. And have the chatni with the rice. And for the first time I had a name plate on my door saying 'Gauri Sawant'. I was so happy with that name plate I had bought for 21 Rs. From now on all the letters I will get won't be 'care of', they will be meant for me. Gradually I figured that I did not want to be a gay. I am no a gay. I was uncomfortable in my body. Whenever I used to look into the mirror, I used to feel sad that I didn't have breasts. I started wearing saris. Slowly I saved money. I got SRS I did everything but I was never accepted at home. Its been 7 years now. Few days ago, I was retuning from work and I saw a familiar face on the street. Saw again and realized that it was my father. My father was looking much older than he used to 5 years ago. I wonder why he did not accept me. If he has accepted me, things would have been better for me too. Today I have a freedom to live as I want to but my blood relations are broken.
action plus
beg
bhosla military school' charkop
dadar
doctor
drugs
ganesh sawant
gauri sawant
harass
humsafar
kaya kalp
people's panchayats on resisting stigma and homophobia
pune
rituals
sex
sex education
sex work
srs
transgender
transsexual
action plus
beg
bhosla military school' charkop
dadar
doctor
drugs
ganesh sawant
gauri sawant
harass
humsafar
kaya kalp
people's panchayats on resisting stigma and homophobia
pune
rituals
sex
sex education
sex work
srs
transgender
transsexual
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Gauri Sawant talks about her experiences growing up transgender, and of the harassment and abuse she faced from her family as a result. She speaks in detail about her father's attempts to 'convert' her, and of her difficulties in escaping such ordeals. Gauri's story is ultimately empowering as she shares her success in living life on her own terms.
Pune
There is no sex education in India. They could hide my real identity by making me wear pant and shirt . But once I started wearing a sari then for them I am a transgender. Then for them, my fate was decided. I must beg, I will contract AIDS, I should be like those in train. They wouldn't even come if I fell ill. I had a support only from my staff members. It had become a family. If we were falling short of money, we would ask Ashok to give us some money. We didn't have money to afford a mobile phone. We used to make a call from the public phone and ask for at least Rs.500. Later one day my uncle's son came home with a hockey stick. He broke my legs, cut my hair and took me back home. My father locked me inside the house for 3 days thinking I am making a mistake. He did all sots of religious rituals, in Tryambakeshwar, Narayan Nag bali etc etc. He did not leave a single thing. Finally I jumped from the bathroom window and ran away. What does it mean to be a transsexual or a transgender? If my eyebrows are not in shape, I go to a parlor, then if I want to change m body, don't I have that right? If I had gotten married I would have ruined the life of another woman.Today there are so many people like me. Boys come when they are 18. They say they want to become a woman. Nobody wants become a transgender. If a man wears a sari, nobody gives them work. So they have to beg. Or they go in sex work. Schools should have sex education. So this is a very good platform to talk. This is a platform where we can tell people that we need their love. Thank you.
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