Revathy's Testimonial, Bangalore Panchayat, Resisting Stigma and Homophobia
Director: Jeevanandhan Rajendran
Duration: 00:08:39; Aspect Ratio: 1.333:1; Hue: 13.145; Saturation: 0.390; Lightness: 0.173; Volume: 0.198; Words per Minute: 126.927
Summary: People’s Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. In this sequence, Revathy, who was born male, speaks of her feminine gender identification, and of the difficulties she faced growing up in Tamil Nadu. She talks at length about the harassment and abuse that she was subjected to as a child and later, as a young woman, before concluding with a fervent hope for a change in social attitudes towards the transgender community.
Bangalore
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Revathy speaks about her adolescence and of her experiences growing up outside of traditional gender identities.
What's my sex? What's my identity? I'm the last child to my parents. They named me Annadurai. Like the way there is a dress code for a boy or a girl in our society, my parents too provided me trousers and shirt, but when going to school, I used to carry my books as any other girl. At home I used to wear my sister's dress – I used to stand in front of the mirror and imagine myself to be a female. At a young age people used to make fun of me. They used to tease me saying that I behaved like a eunuch. They said that being a boy I was behaving like a girl. When they were teasing me, I found a small happiness in it. I used to feel happy that they were identifying me as a girl.
I could study only until the 5th standard in my village. After that I had to go to the town to study. When I went to study my seniors used to tease me. There too the teasing was on because I behaved like a girl. They asked me as to why I did not behave like a boy and mingle with them. The staff used to ask me whether I was a boy or a girl, what sort of private parts I had in my body, that school had classes from the 6th-12th. All the students in that school were boys, there weren't any girls. They used to play games like Cricket, Football, Volleyball and Kabaddi. But I used to sit alone and play games that girls used to play. Even the PT master used to harass me. He used to question me as to why I did not behave like a boy. I did not realize then that all that was a sort of sexual harassment. In my childhood I did not realize that. There used to be an interval during classes. I used to feel shy to go to the Gent's toilet for urinating.
action plus
aids
bangalore
care
coalition
education
hiv
homophobia
panchayat
people
resistance
revathy
rights
stigma
testimonial
Bangalore, India
At an adolescent age when a boy and a girl fell in love, they exchanged pleasantries and love letters, similarly at that age, I too fell in love with a boy – but I could not give a love letter because externally I too was a boy. There was a fear that they might assault me. The feelings I had were totally feminine. When I saw a handsome boy, I fell like falling in love with him. For example, people in our village used to get married and come. Bride and groom used to come in a procession. I used to long that if only I was born a female, I would have enjoyed like this.
Bangalore
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Revathy speaks about her adolescence and of her experiences growing up outside of traditional gender identities.
action plus
aids
bangalore
care
coalition
education
hiv
homophobia
panchayat
people
resistance
revathy
rights
stigma
testimonial
Bangalore
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Revathy speaks about her adolescence and of her experiences growing up outside of traditional gender identities.
There was a lot of confusion inside me then. I used to wonder as to why I did not behave like a boy. I knew I was different from other males. And at the same time was also behaving like a female. Was only I like that or were there others like me? Why has god created me like this were the questions running through my head then. I could not eat or sleep well, felt like committing suicide. In the interval, I used to wait for the boys to come out of the toilet and only then would I enter the toilet to pass urine. As I used to go to class late, the teacher often abused me and sometimes the teacher used to beat me. They did not beat me for not having answered questions in class; they used to beat me because I behaved like a female. They used to advise me that I should behave like a boy and not like a female.
Once the teacher was explaining what solids and gases were. He said that solids are objects, which are shaped and can be felt by our hand. Whereas gas is something which does not have a shape and is mixed with air, and he quoted me as an example for that. He meant that I was neither a boy nor a girl – in the sense that I do not belong to any particular gender. All the students in the room used to laugh loudly. And outside the class they used to sexually abuse me. Sometimes to check what sort of private organs I had, they undressed me, when things turned so bad I did not feel like studying in school.
I was not doing it purposely. If someone makes fun of you eating, will you start starving? My feelings were also like that. It's natural, nothing is artificial in it. It's not my mistake.
action plus
aids
bangalore
care
coalition
education
hiv
homophobia
panchayat
people
resistance
revathy
rights
stigma
testimonial
action plus
aids
bangalore
care
coalition
education
hiv
homophobia
panchayat
people
resistance
revathy
rights
stigma
testimonial
After I failed in my 10th standard. I decided to completely turn into a girl, I joined this transgender community, Hijra community. Even when joining there I had interest to study, but that was not possible. Here, either I have to beg or I have to sell sex. Though I did not have interest in doing it, I was forced to do that for earning.
They will be talking about that to you. I only told about my childhood. It will be a family or society or law. There was a lot of discrimination against us. I am now in Bangalore for the past fifteen years – in these fifteen years, for five years I went through a lot of torture. I joined 'Sangma' eight years back. I joined them as an office assistant. I wanted a platform to ask questions when there is violence against people us. I had participated in a lot of demonstrations against such violence. We have brought about a change in society's thinking – even now we can't say that the society has changed fully. It may take many more years.
What I wanted to tell you is that if only the other students in my school in those days understood my feelings, I would have studied well. Had people at home accepted me as a girl, I would have looked like a girl, had only the government recognized me as a girl and paved ways for change in my sex, I too would have become a girl and studied well and would have been one amongst you today. I would have been a doctor or a lawyer or why not a collector too? The reason that we are not so, is because they do not understand us. We are trying to make you understand, please try to understand at least now.
Just think what you would do if you get a child like me in your family?
Bangalore
People's Panchayats on Resisting Stigma and Homophobia; Action Plus - a Coalition for Rights, Education and Care in HIV and AIDS. Revathy speaks about her adolescence and of her experiences growing up outside of traditional gender identities.
Pad.ma requires JavaScript.
